dont try to bootlick me by saying i'm pretty or whatsoever.
or even try saying something that you dont mean it.
cause i wont take that as a compliment.
i take it as an insult instead.
thank you.

i definitely felt like i was dying that day.

not being able to breathe.
not being able to communicate.
not able to stand still.
not able to open my eyes.
not able to see.
not able to hear properly.
not being able to stop crying. tears just fell continuously.
everything was in bits and pieces.
i didnt have any idea what was happening to me.
that was how terrible it was.

i really had those flashback kinda memories.
i was imagining how life would be if i left like that.
leaving my sis and my fat fat like that.
leaving my dad like that.
leaving things undone.
leaving things unfulfilled.
i am scared.

i didnt like the feeling.
horrible.
i didnt know life was that weak.
struggling to breathe.
horrifying.
cant even open my eyes to look where i was.

some many talkings.
i almost couldnt differentiate who was talking.
i just heard an unknown voice saying 'breathe. diana lee breathe.'
the doctor it was.
tears keep falling and falling.
i was literally struggling to breathe.
they sent me to the nearest clinic.
and even called for an ambulance.
the ambulance didnt come in the end.
but i managed to breathe.
i cant remember much.
i fell unconscious.
very.

that was how bad the situation was.
that was how terrible i felt.

i know i've scared you to death.
i'm sorry.
sorry for causing you so much trouble.
now is not my time to go.
i promise i wouldnt leave you now.
i want to see the future with you.
thanks for taking care of me.
i think i would have died somewhere if it wasnt you.
i love you my darling.

i'm so scared of dying now that i've decided to bring the inhaler around.
in case my heart fails me again.
which it should not happen ever again.
no worries people. =)